Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
where am i from again
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
