So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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