she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
