This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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