she woke up with a sticky ear
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize