i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize