so that wasnt chicken after all
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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