I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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