party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
