Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
North Korea, Best Korea!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize