I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think I just sharted jello shots
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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