Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
