what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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