The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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