You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
