Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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