she told me i tasted like america
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
