i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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