yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
