i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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