she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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