cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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