youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
