So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
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