the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
