Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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