can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
