don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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