They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize