This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize