so let's talk penis.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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