He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize