you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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