just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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