you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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