Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
