Its about making memories worth repressing
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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