Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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