I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
