What a fucking waste of an outfit
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
