ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
