dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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