dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
