So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
