I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
