i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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