It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
