I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
