But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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