Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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