did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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