I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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