we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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