I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
