im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
