I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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